You do not like to return to the past. You look ahead with the hope that the best may yet happen. At christmas you had two trainings. The first one in the morning before 8. You came quickly to the hall, through the empty streets. In the afternoon, another one, the most stressful. Three hours of walking on the wire. Nerves and muscles tensed to bursting. We had a sigh of relief. On the saturday morning another one, then the journey to the capital city. You would like to stay home. A day and a half of the rest, the most preciouss of all after a week of hell.

But you are still going. You do not want to disappoint anyone. You do not want someone to resent you. You do not want them to throw logs on the track. There are already too many of those. You know that you must give a lot to the others so that you can be left with a little of yours. That essence which you can not be without, which you do not give, without which, those who would take it, would lose.
Not only that; you have to come, to get on the stage, to take the trophy to say a sentence or two, and then home. My A pupil! A has always been your only option. Therefore, everything is on the list, this one or that one: massage, manicure-pedicure, carefully selected shoes, clothing, hairstyle, makeup, jewelry and the good mood as the result of the good pace of preparations, readiness for a hundred autographs, numerous posing to the official and other photographers, statements, smiles, "I love you all ... You will not take a bit from the buffet table. Your meals are already ordered and you will pick them up on the return to the hotel. The lunch as a ritual. In the isolation of your room. The body is a temple of the soul, you often say. You will feed it carefully. The afternoon sleep.The unrivalled ritual. The packing of the things with the apothecary precision, God, you are a pharmacist, and you are leaving...

So Stjepan, now you know why she couldn't make it at 16 h, and even after she could not be in your show. I will wonder the streets of Split in the dawn, risking the minor traffic violations, focused on the morning prayer for a small traffic jam to be created for her, so that I would not be just a little school boy faced with her reproachingly glance: you are late!?
I will socialize the cup by putting it in the crowd with the others on the shelf in the hall, and then the training. In the afternoon another one ... I guess she will now finally catch the rhythm.
You do not like to return to the past. you look ahead with the hope that the best can yet happen.