I thought that the meetings would become a routine after thirteen years of active jumping. Packing, travels, hotels, always the same schedule of activities before the competition, warming up, trial jumping, a bit of adrenaline on the heights above 2 meters.

But I still catch myself looking at each one like it is a fight for all or nothing. That day to be or not to be, and if it is 'not to be '- do not come back home.

Well, I maybe exaggerate a little, but I am still surprised by a strong intensity of emotions that I experience prior the performance. In the last year, I project my fears solely on the unconscious level - while I sleep. For some of them, I did not even know they existed, until I would wake up with relief and muttered: 'it's ok..'
My daily routine on the day of jumping in Arnstadt was alarmingly agitated because of the timetable for the competition.

In fact, we started with warming up already in 13:00 hours, and with the official part just an hour later. That's why I woke up in 5:30 this time, so I was at the morning practice for 'awaking' at 7:00 already. At 9.30 I had another meal, and after that the sleep. I usually rest after lunch, but there wasn't any problem for me to sleep until noon. And within that, everything meaningful, related to precompetitive preparations and rituals, ended ...
In my dream, I was preparing for the jumping in Split. And after I left the hairdressers that morning somewhere downtown (?), I realized that I have a very little time to get back home and to prepare in peace. It wouldn't be such a problem, but I was completely bare, and at that very moment the rain began to drizzle.

And so I ran like crazy, and the floor was full of pieces of glass, which I tried to avoid. At one point, I stoped and realized that there is no point to waste energy and that I could call a taxi.

However, the taxi driver didn't know where the street I waited in, was, so I had time to fall into a little more trouble.
So I waited for my transportation, when I heared a growl behind my back. Usually I do not like to see the dogs without leashes, I had unpleasant experiences on Marjan. And this one had no intention to spare me. Somehow I still menaged to wrestle him away, I may have even hit him, and in the moment, he turned into the man. He layed on the ground, unconscious, so I jumped to his rescue. When he opened his eyes, he told me that everything was OK, but that he had a strong arrhythmia and if I could massage his heart to return to normal. Otherwise, I learned all about high resuscitation procedures...

Meanwhile, the taxi arrived, and, with a relief, I gave the driver the address of my apartment. But no!! Except he was driving 20 kilometers per hour, the gentleman left me half way, explaining to me that he simply does not 'cover' the entire city. Fortunately, I encountered a woman who drove 'ricksha'. Better any transport than no transport.

Unfortunately, neither she was a reliable carrier, cause instead of walking or running, she jumped on one leg. I started to sweat of trouble, asking her to hurry up, when I heard the alarm clock ...
I really dream often. My dreams are always full of colors and emotions, they do not leave me indifferent even hours after waking. Sometimes it seems as if I have my parallel world where everything is possible.

It even happened to me a few times to dream what I want. I do not reject them lightly, those unconscious dashes of mine, especially when they have the power to make my day more beautiful...

And for the dreams before the competition, from the experience, I can only say one thing – the more stressful they are, the better the result is.